So...Im in kind of a wonky funny mood tonight. Perfect time to blog right?! :)
Things are going pretty well lately and the days are passing, which is really all I can ask for. I am involved in the FRG for Tedd's Company as a volunteer.
I also started attending the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class. I'm really enjoying it and learning a lot. I started using cash envelopes a few weeks ago and it has literally changed my life. I'm spending HALF of what I used to on groceries, got ONE tank of gas to last an entire two weeks (carpooling etc), and only ate out once. Its pretty crazy what God can do with your money when you involve God and a lot of knowledge and common sense. If you're familiar with his tactics at all, you know what the baby steps are. We're slowly working on the financial baby steps and I am encouraged about our finances for the first time in a long time.
I've also met and started hanging out with two new friends. They are both wives from Tedd's unit, and they both live VERY close to me on our street. It has been amazing to have new friends that I really get along with well and are so close!
Christmas, Tedd's birthday, Valentines day, my birthday, and our anniversary (today) are finally all over. Call me negative if you please...but its nice to know that the next time those thing come around, Tedd will be back!
Speaking of Tedd, he is doing well. He does tell me often that he's homesick (don't tell I told lol). He tells me he misses the little things about being home the most; going on walks with me, playing with Calvin, just being next to each other and able to talk face to face. He doesn't use the internet as much as some of the other soldiers, mostly because we don't want to spend $90 a month for it. So we literally haven't seen each others faces in about 3 months now (no skype etc). Its kind of a hard thing to describe, just wanting so badly to see your husbands smile. He did send me a very nice picture of himself on my birthday. It was the best gift ever!
Like I said a little earlier, today is our 5 year anniversary. I really can't believe its been that long! Just to be a little mushy :) here's what I posted on Tedd's facebook wall:
"Happy 5th Anniversary to the most amazing husband ever. You are a blessing from God, my best friend, my rock, my hero, my biggest supporter, my lover, the one who I can tell anything, the one I want to grow old with right by my side.
I can't believe its been almost 8 years since those two kids met at a rodeo, and ...FIVE since those double doors opened and I saw the man of my dreams waiting for me at the end of the aisle. I don't take a single day of this life for granted. It doesn't matter if you're sitting next to me holding my hand or on the other side of the world fighting for our freedom...I know you're the best thing thats ever come into my life and I am ONE LUCKY woman that God gave me you. I'll love you forever and always Tedd Miller ♥ ♥ ♥"
I thought very seriously about returning to Indiana for a few months while Tedd was gone. The more I pray about it, and think about it...I don't think its the right decision. I will most likely go back for a week or weekend at some point. But, I need to stay here...because these are the people who understand me.
Most people won't understand that, you would think you would "need" the "back home" thing. Not really.
As snooty as it sounds, it bothers me when people who haven't been in my situation act like its no big deal, you need to suck it up, put on your big girl panties, etc etc. It amazes me that people think they know exactly what I'm going through because they had a father, grandfather, great uncle, son, brother, or neighbor who has been in the military. Of COURSE they have felt the effects of war, I do not for one minute discount that. But its not the same as a spouse.
The other thing is when people think that you should never be able to be negative or complain. I am (believe it or not lol) very happy day to day. I have my bad days, just like anyone else. But generally speaking, I'm happy. I'm smiling, laughing, going to movies, listening to music, hanging out with friends. We're all allowed to have bad days. And when we do, why do people feel the need to tell you that its not allowed...because you're the one who got yourself into it? Hmmm doesn't make sense. Maybe thats just me.
On the flip side, I have had a few people reach out to me and really show that they care. My grandma has sent me multiple hand written letters, I just received a letter from Tedd's brother and his wife, I've received cards from other friends and family, my friend Janeen from back home sent me two little Valentines. Those things mean so much, much more than the people know. They brighten my day and assure me that there are people who do care about ME. I am Tedd's #1 supporter, but sometimes its hard to be the one left behind. One of the biggest reasons is because EVERYONE is praying for Tedd, sending Tedd packages, letters etc. AND when they do talk to me they of course ask how he is. He deserves each and every one of these prayers and thoughts. But sometimes its nice to know people care what you're up to as well. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else, but Tedd understands so that's all that matters. :)