Saturday, October 6, 2012

When your husband goes to war

There's been a lot of things going on around here lately.  They aren't really things I want to talk about though. Ick. So I thought I'd put some thoughts together of what your thoughts might be if you know your husbands going to war.

So here goes.
When you're husband is going to war, you..."
-get possessive.  I work nights and hardly ever see Tedd.  So when I'm off I don't want to share him with anyone usually.  I can't help it.
- cringe when you hear him doing online training.  You'll hear certain "situations" and also hear the training tell them how they should be respond.
- There is lots of new gear that will be taking up your closets. Again.
-People will ask you really dumb questions like, "Are you freaking out?" or "Are you sad about him leaving?" Ummm...I feel as though answering those  questions would bring me down to your intelligence level.... Of COURSE DUMMY!!!
- You'll cry out to God and ask him to keep your spouse safe. You will BEG him.  Beg. Out loud.  And you won't care who hears you.
-You'll lay in bed with your head on his chest and cry.  He's asleep and he has no idea...but you don't want it to end.  Just him being here.
- You'll ask him tough questions about the "what ifs" and then you'll lock yourself in the car and bawl your eyes out.  You'll cry until you can't breath.  Why do you have to talk to your husband about these things?
-Other wives will say, "Don't be surprised if he comes back different."  You'll say ok and then cry on the drive home.
-You will wonder where to go and what to do.  Should you go back home to be with family? or stay here by yourself?
-You'll wish the army paid him above poverty level salary so that you could buy him something nice for Christmas to give him before he leaves.
-Some days you'll be a little bitter when you hear women complaining about their husbands job keeping them late or sending them on a 1 week business trip.
-You'll start collecting post office boxes and start coming up with care package ideas.
-"You'll stop watching the news about things "'over there".  You will also have thoughts of doing very bad things to ANYONE who does watch the news and thinks they need to tell you whats happening over there. Ugh.

Anyway.  There is a lot of prayer involved.  A lot of "I don't know" and "what ifs".  More than anything we just keep repeating to each other how much we love each other.  I keep telling him I will Love him and Pray for him every. single. day.  I keep telling him how I promise to TRY to "be ok" and not become a hermit.  Because when the going gets tough thats what I do.  I shut people out.  I'd much rather cry by myself than have other people pretending to know how I feel and consoling me.   I also don't deal well with those people who don't call and talk to you about your life, the happiness and the sadness, everything involved.  Then miraculously, all of the sudden they want to be involved now that he's leaving.   But really they just want to act like they've known you or known whats going on in your life all along.  But they don't.  They're just putting on a show now that more people are watching.  Have I said too much?  Eh. Oh Well. I sounds mean.  I can't help it.  I'm just being honest.
Please pray that God wraps his loving arms around my husband and keeps his body and soul safe.