So its been a while since I posted. I would say its because I've just been TOO busy....but that would not be the truth. I HAVE been busy, but to be honest I just haven't felt like it lol. And I will warn you right now that I am about to be very candid and honest. Mostly because its my blog and I can if I want lol. I don't tend to sugar-coat things.
The 19th-25th week, was a really lonely one. But last week I got a call on Sunday (the 26th). It was just what I needed. It carried me through the entire week. I did well. I went multiple days without crying, things were really good. I actually got out of the house, went horseback riding with a friend and was really upbeat. And Friday we even FINALLY got our first paycheck from the army. Woohoo! I didn't get many letters at all from Tedd. In fact, the last letter I got was dated the 26th...so over a week ago. But I figured it was a back up in mail, or that they were very busy. I'm still going to TRY to tell myself these things.
Last night was a really...really hard night.
Phone calls are FEW and FAR between. (One so far in 5 weeks). But yet on the weekends I worry constantly that he will call and I will miss it. Once again, I know worrying does no good. I find that many people try to give advice to me about how to feel and what to do. I know they are doing it from love. But not many of them have actually went through it. They may have been seperated from their partner for days, weeks, or even months. But unless you've been in a situation where you had NO contact, not even a once a week phone call...its very hard to grasp. Your mind runs rampant with all of the possibilities of what could be.
Tomorrow Tedd will have been gone for 5 weeks. I am going to TRY my hardest to lean on God and to make week number 6 a better one. I have a lot of packing to do, a lot of "stuff" to put into storage yet, and I'll be working during the days. I am trying to go to the gym more often, and get the dog out of the house on walks as well. Lord willing, I will hear more on our house this week. I pray SO HARD that it is in God's plan to finish the selling process and close quickly and be able to have another thing off of my mind.
Now to end things on a good note : from what little I've heard, it sounds like Tedd is doing well. With the help of my dad I was able to do the few small things that we had to fix around the house from the inspection. My dad and uncle Al installed my new water heater YAY. And after A LOT of sweat my dad, brother, and brother-in-law finally were able to get the old MAMMOTH water heater out of the basement just today. It was almost 6 ft tall and literally weighed probably no less than 300-400 lbs. Thats one thing they don't make like they used to...thank goodness! lol.
At this point I am taking things one day at a time, each day reminding myself that its one day closer to seeing Tedd again. I'm also trying to remind myself of the MANY blessings that God has bestowed upon me/us, and that this whole thing is God's plan. I know he is trying to teach me things through this. I ask for your continued prayers and I will try very hard to update more often (even if I don't feel like it lol)