Sunday, December 31, 2017

The plan of God

"This wasn't supposed to happen..."

 I didn't know what to say. All I could do was hold her and tell her I loved her.  
Recently, someone very dear to me went through one of the hardest days of her life.  Her life as she knew it was crumbling pebble by pebble down around her.  She was surprised, she was devastated, she was hurt.  As she sobbed, and I hugged her she repeated "This wasn't supposed to happen." 

Life is funny in that way isn't it?  There are few things in life that turn out the way we think that they should.  We have visions of what we think our lives will be like in 20 years, in 5 years, even next week.  It almost never plays out the way we imagined. 

I promised my friend that I would pray for her. I did. I prayed that night. I prayed the next morning.  I prayed for healing, for God's will to be done, for clarity, for peace.  She would tell me later that she felt these prayers. 

God did not promise an easy life to those who walk with him. But one thing he did promise that gives me great hope is this: 

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

My friend is going through a difficult, dark time in her life. But she is seeing the hand of God in what she's enduring.  Although it's painful, maybe this WAS supposed to happen. Maybe this is part of God's beautiful plan for her life. Maybe this will heal things in her life that have been broken for years.

No matter what is happening in your life, no matter how dark the days are, the LOVE that Jesus Christ has for you is beyond anything you can ever imagine.  He yearns for you, he loves you, he is chasing after you! He wants nothing more than to be a part of your life.  He's not promising an easy life but he will never leave you or forsake you. All you have to do is accept him.

Sunday, January 18, 2015


Happy 2015 :)   Here's a little update on us.  We are hoping 2015 will be an exciting year for us.  We've been back back in Indiana for about 6 months now.  And we're about to move again! This time only about 15-20 miles.  We will be taking our turn living in my grandparents rental farmhouse.  We are very thankful for the opportunity it will provide and feel it is a real blessing.  Since we plan on being there at least a few years, we decided to make a few simple renovations before moving in.  

Almost every spare moment lately has been spent out there painting, cleaning, ripping up old carpet, and just prepping.  I've discovered that HGTV has a serious fast forward button.  Everything takes so much time! :)

Tedd is still working part time and attending school.  He did very well his first semester and ended up making the Deans List.  He just started the new semester this week.  I'm hoping this semester goes just as smoothly.
I still love my job.  I learn something new every single day, literally.  But, that's what makes it exciting!  Some days are stressful, but I wouldn't want to be doing anything else.

Flea was sick and wouldn't eat for a few days.  Since he's no spring chicken, we got really worried.  We eventually discovered an oral ulcer (think canker sore).  There are a lot of different underlying diseases that can make these happen, but all of his labwork came back completely normal.  (yay!) So we're just hoping it doesn't happen again.  As of right now he is back to being 100% his ornery self!  

 Calvin, in his true "i'm a broken puppy mill dog with thousands of problems" nature hurt his back.  Luckily it healed with rest, medications and time.  After it healed, he had his right knee surgery re-done.  That was about 3 weeks ago.  He's still healing from that.  But he's doing very well.  I know that just about everyone thinks we're crazy for what we do for him.  But just LOOK at that face! He brings me a lot of joy, and I'll do what I can for him.

On a more personal note.  I've been through a lot of ups and downs recently.  The people here on this earth are just that...humans.  We all struggle. We all fail.  I am no exception.  But with the help of some wonderful people(friends and family), an amazing pastor, and God...I'm pulling through!
The more trials that I face, the more important I feel like it is to reach out to other people.  I truly believe that sometimes the "reason" that we face these things is so that we can help other people through the same thing later.  

That being said, Beth Moore is one of my favorite authors.  She is just a really good "Jesus Girl" role model for me.  I found this at the Christian bookstore the other day.  Its a great book and I would suggest it to anyone.

I am in awe every single day of this awesome, living God that I serve.  And amid whatever uncertainty you're facing, God WILL take care of you if you let him.  

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Playing catch up

The past 12-13 months have been a whirlwind!
Tedd FINALLY came home from Afghanistan safe and sound.  Tedd's  active duty contract was not up until May of 2015.  We were anticipating finishing out that contract living in Fort Leonard Wood.

Surprise!  The army had other plans.  Due to the Army downsizing, with the Afghan dust still on his boots, Tedd was told his unit was shutting down.  And that his contract now ended in September.  And then we realized that he had over 2 months of "leave" saved up.  So, we would really be leaving Missouri and moving back to Indiana in July.

There was some rushing and fretting about getting things done, but I still can not believe how much God has blessed us throughout this journey.  2013 was a rough year.  But I can look back now and see that God was working overtime!  There were days I wasn't sure I would survive.  I now find peace and understanding in this verse..

Revelation 3:19
Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.

It was uncomfortable at times.  Okay, lets just be real.  It SUCKED.  But God has really changed me. (more on that later)

So in July we moved back to Indiana.  It has been a fun transition.  We are able to see our families and old friends. I have to admit, I do miss my Missouri friends.  And no matter what happens, I will forever be thankful for them helping me through a very difficult time in my life.

Tedd started college in August.  It has been an adjustment, but he is doing very well!  He is working part time, and is also part of the Army Reserve, now serving one weekend per month.

As for me, I was blessed with a position at an amazing hospital.  It really is my dream job!  There is so much to learn, especially being out of the field for 3 years.  Some days I feel like a total failure, but I am very committed to working hard until I am really an asset.   I finished up my required CE and was able to re-instate my state license  so that I am legally an RVT again.  Woot! 

Stay tuned for part 2 of the update!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Just when you thought I couldn't get any more odd...

I throw something else in the mix. Ha! For quite some time, I've been standing on my "live simply" soap box. I've never been one to collect nic naks or like a lot of decorations.  I've been known to say I don't like "stuff".
I am constantly going through drawers, closets, and cabinets and getting rid of things.
As I was explaining to my poor husband the other day  why I was getting rid of the couches(don't worry that's the one thingnwe are saving for is a new  couch) and why I wanted to downsize the tv stand, it dawned on me.
Stuff stresses me out.
For real. I'm happy in a house with very little decoration, no nic nacs, and the bare essentials. The internet tells me I must be practicing something called "spartanism".
One thing is for sure. You don't have to worry about me having a shopping problem or becoming a hoarder. I'm the opposite! I love free space and no clutter. I've gotten rid of a
Lot  just since Tedd left. We'll see how he reacts when he gets home!  I didn't touch his stuff but I wouldn't mind if he did it for me!

Friday, August 9, 2013


Most of us have heard or read the story in Matthew 21, when Peter asked Jesus:

 “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

But, lets just face it. As sinners, we're just not always very good at it. Satan weasles his grubby little self into our hearts and thoughts. We find it hard to forgive,  and we want revenge. We want to see the other person suffer for what we perceived as them "wronging us"
I'm here to tell you that forgiveness is hard. I've fought it tooth and nail many times.
We hear lies from the world around us about "sweet revenge"

When I was in high school one of my very dear friends went through a very rough time. Her father, who by all definition of the word was a "model christian" had an affair and left her family.  Her mother fought for their marriage for quite some time despite the circumstances.
They eventually divorced. On THE day that he remarried, her mother woke up to an email from his mistress. It was nasty and from my understanding basically said that she had "won" and stole her husband.
I will never forget what my friend said next. Her mother sent a reply to this email. This is what it said,

"I forgive you."

I have chills every time I think about this story. As a married woman, my heart breaks and my spirit weeps for my friends mother. I can't imagine going through what she did. But what an AMAZING testimony to her love for Christ.

I recently messaged my friend and told her that 10 years later, her moms story helped me  to forgive someone for something that was long overdue.  She sent a message back saying she didn't even actually remember when she told me the story, but it made her very emotional to know that God was still working through that terrible time in her life.

Forgive. Give it to God. Dont seek revenge. Its not our place.
Romans 12 says,
"Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord."

I trust the God I serve to take care of it.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Patiently waiting

Ok. Well maybe not so patiently.  Tedds "supposed" to be home in the beggining of September.  We still haven't gotten a date. Not even a tentative one. A lot of my friends are crazy excited.  Theyre counting down, decorating, and preparing their houses. Me? I can't let myself get excited yet. I know myself.  If I do, and they don't come home on time...Ill be disappointed.
Tedd and I have been discussing it though. Its a funny thing when your spouse has been away for over 8 months. Think back on your own life. I think its safe to say a lot has changed in that amount of time. Besides a few pictures, we have only been able to get skype to work twice. We've literally seen each others faces twice in 8 months. Dont take that stuff for granted friends.
Its a little scary.  We are both very different people than we were when he left. Things in our house have changed.  Since December 4th our house was re-roofed, we got new siding put on, we have 2 different (free) couches, I've rearranged every room in the house and got rid of even more junk.
Calvin has a whole new set of needs,  I have some brand spankin new wrinkles. I've got some new friends Tedd has never met. We have ALL new neighbors; when I mention them Tedd doesn't know who they are.  Weve each got our own routines.
Tedds different too. Hes already told me hes sure he'll be a little "jumpy" when he hears loud noises etc.
 Weve essentially lived 2 separate lives.
I'm really not worried about putting our lives back together.  I just want him home. But it should be interesting and probably slightly comical when he comes home and we try to get to know each other again.  Ill post updates when the time gets closer or when we are in the home stretch. One day at a time.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Plagues in Egypt.

I guess sometimes I need a reminder. I was reading in Exodus today about Moses, the Pharoah and the plagues. The gnats, flies, boiles, darkness, death of the firstborn etc. What a POWERFUL God we serve!
That is all :)